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The handset in front is a $88,000 Vertu

I’ve just flown half way around the world to Los Angeles.

It was an uneventful flight (which is the way I like it), apart from the ending. As the plane finished taxing and we all got out our seats, a plane-load of people switched on their handsets. Within moments the air was filled with all kinds of beeps and chirrups. I was doing a pretty good job of identifying the handsets by the beeps.

That’s when I noticed the chap in the seat in front brandishing his Vertu. Or, as one chap from a well known UK operator recently described them to me, “a £40 Nokia plus £40k’s worth of diamonds glued on to it”.

Here’s the one the chap had:

vertu

It’s quite a sparkler.

I’ve never really been a Vertu fan, per se. I’ve nothing against them, just I have a very different value perspective. For £40k (and that price is just a rough one from a few Vertu-related stories I’ve browsed recently, you can get’em cheaper/more expensive) — but continuing — for £40k, I’d want an all singing, all dancing handset. I’d want it to do the dishes.

I have a serious problem with the screen size. The chap waving his around today had just switched his on and when I saw the menus.. well.. I think the iPhone looks a lot flashier. A lot nicer. A lot more ‘value’. It did — at a glance (and with my geeeeeeeky hat on) look very Series-40-Nokia.

But then Vertu’s never been a performance contender. I haven’t ever come across anyone who’s wanted a Vertu for the technological abilities. I know one person who REALLY wants to get a £3-4k Vertu, ‘because you get a concierge service with it.’ Hmm.

“Vertu handsets are exceptional,” says the Vertu.com site. Further, in a nod to the Russian Oligarchs amongst us, the site continues by explaining that Vertu handsets are, “Owned by important people all around the world.”

That’s a bit impertinent! Not entirely accurate either. I know many important Oligarchish people who frustrate the hell out of me by insisting on using Motorola RAZRs continuously.

I doubt you can call up and get a review handset. You’d have to, I imagine, hand over the deeds to your house before they lent you one.

So I’ll peer in the window. Like the concept. Not too sure on the day to day reality.

What about you… ever lusted after a Vertu?

9 COMMENTS

  1. Not a chance! If I was going to spend that on a phone I’d want it to do everything, including talk to satellites and the coffee maker! I’ve rarely seen anything more tacky than that picture. Why on earth would you? Just shows money doesn’t go hand-in-hand with taste.

  2. Honestly, I’ve lusted over many a Vertu. When I had the chance to actually hold one in Chicago at the Nokia Flagship Store, I wanted one badly. Not really so much to use daily, but just to have a Vertu. They’ve done an incredible job, I think, of building the sort of status implied by owning one.

  3. @Daniel: The really, seriously wealthy people I’ve met don’t have phones. They have people who have phones.

    Why, I have a team of people who can fulfill my every whim, and are on call 24/7. All I need do is ask a friend to text 66000 😉

  4. @Mike: Now that’s what I call ‘proper’ online marketing. Nicely done! On that basis, if you’re not going to say Texperts, then I will!

  5. There was a guy from Nokia flashing one at my Birthday party recently.

    I must admit, I was completely underwhelmed.

    I wonder what the S60 one will be like when it’s released….

  6. By the way chaps, nokia has launched a slimmed down version of concierge service on its higher end handsets in Ireland. See Nokia.ie/concierge

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