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Who’s the arse using his phone for directions? Me!

I was on Chiswick High Street today trying to find a cash point that worked.

Eventually I found the Natwest and managed to obtain some cash and as I departed the bank, a chap stopped me on the street. He was wearing a Tesco supermarket jacket.

“Excuse me, mate,” he said. I turned round.

“Do you know where Cromwell Street is?” he asked, brandishing an envelope with a series of directions scribbled on the back.

“Errrrr,” I said. That’s the standard first-response from most people in the UK. I didn’t want to disappoint.

I thought hard.

Cromwell Street.

No.

“No, sorry…” I said. The chap made to turn. “But wait!” I exclaimed, “Let me just check for you.”

I whipped out my Blackberry.

“Google Maps,” I said, nodding at the chap.

He looked vaguely impressed.

My Bold fired up Google Maps and I looked on with delighted expectation as the handset found my location and began to swiftly display Chiswick High Road on the map, complete with a flashing blue dot.

Brilliance.

“So, Cromwell Road is it?” I say to the chap.

He nods.

I hit search and I type in Cromwell Road…

“Just a moment,” I say, watching the data-cursor thing at the top right of the Blackberry shoot back and forward, indicating something was happening.

I smiled as I saw one of the Google Map squares appear on screen.

“Just a momennnnnnnnnnttttttt,” I say, stretching the words as long as is possible, whilst I wait for the sodding 3G data connection to perform.

The chap and I stand there.

People go about their business.

I start to think, “This is bollocks.”

20 seconds went by.

“It’s… er….” I say, feeling like a total cock.

Goodness knows what this guy is thinking. All he wanted was a simple binary answer. If my answer was ‘yes’, then he’d also have hoped to get some kind of directions. He’d have been content with a ‘no’. Because he could have asked somebody else.

Unfortunately he selected me.

45 seconds later, after quietly swearing profusely at my Blackberry and my BOLLOCKS Vodafone connection, I apologised to the chap and said, “I think it might be up that way.”

He thanked me — I’m not sure what for — and walked off.

Gahhhh. How annoying!

12 COMMENTS

  1. I think that neatly sums up the fact that most technology is great to play with, but when you *really* need it you can be sure that nine times out of ten *something* about it will let you down. Maybe it's just me, but I reckon this happens far too often. Doesn't bode well at all for Normob adoption. One failed attempt with a device or app and they're likely to bail – forever.

  2. great example of the gap between promise and reality. Hence the disclaimed on those iphone ads about not being in real time??!!!

  3. Was the technology really the problem here?

    With a paper map, Google maps, etc and a good knowledge of the area I still can't work out where this chap was trying to get to. Was he looking for the A4? (which becomes Cromwell Road about 4 miles east – in Earls Court) or Cromwell Street – 5 miles west in Hounslow?

    If your Blackberry had worked perfectly would you have trusted it enough to confidently tell the guy that there was no road nearby named Cromwell Road/Street?

  4. I could see one square on my device that highlighted Cromwell Road… and I suspected the A4 led on to that… but couldn't tell him for sure.

    Definitely some element of user error too.

  5. Classic!!! It happens in the best families ;-). It has happened to me a couple of times and my nine year old daughter has been v unimpressed when I try to find my way around Clapham. I have to say that my HTC did impress a Sao Paulo taxi driver when I managed to get better driving and walking directions in googlemaps for him. My boss was also impressed 😉

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