I was on Chiswick High Street today trying to find a cash point that worked.
Eventually I found the Natwest and managed to obtain some cash and as I departed the bank, a chap stopped me on the street. He was wearing a Tesco supermarket jacket.
“Excuse me, mate,” he said. I turned round.
“Do you know where Cromwell Street is?” he asked, brandishing an envelope with a series of directions scribbled on the back.
“Errrrr,” I said. That’s the standard first-response from most people in the UK. I didn’t want to disappoint.
I thought hard.
“No, sorry…” I said. The chap made to turn. “But wait!” I exclaimed, “Let me just check for you.”
I whipped out my Blackberry.
“Google Maps,” I said, nodding at the chap.
He looked vaguely impressed.
My Bold fired up Google Maps and I looked on with delighted expectation as the handset found my location and began to swiftly display Chiswick High Road on the map, complete with a flashing blue dot.
“So, Cromwell Road is it?” I say to the chap.
I hit search and I type in Cromwell Road…
“Just a moment,” I say, watching the data-cursor thing at the top right of the Blackberry shoot back and forward, indicating something was happening.
I smiled as I saw one of the Google Map squares appear on screen.
“Just a momennnnnnnnnnttttttt,” I say, stretching the words as long as is possible, whilst I wait for the sodding 3G data connection to perform.
The chap and I stand there.
People go about their business.
I start to think, “This is bollocks.”
20 seconds went by.
“It’s… er….” I say, feeling like a total cock.
Goodness knows what this guy is thinking. All he wanted was a simple binary answer. If my answer was ‘yes’, then he’d also have hoped to get some kind of directions. He’d have been content with a ‘no’. Because he could have asked somebody else.
Unfortunately he selected me.
45 seconds later, after quietly swearing profusely at my Blackberry and my BOLLOCKS Vodafone connection, I apologised to the chap and said, “I think it might be up that way.”
He thanked me — I’m not sure what for — and walked off.
Gahhhh. How annoying!