Android: “A tart and thick as two short planks”

If you caught my newsletter this weekend you’ll have seen that, after Mobile World Congress, I’m reasonably excited at the possibility of a resurrection from Nokia in the form of an array of exciting devices and services. That’s not to confuse Nokia with not delivering — they’re still making a ton of money, especially from all those millions of handsets — but in the Western markets, they’ve garnered an increasingly bad reputation as makers of boring handsets often featuring buggy software that’s ridiculously difficult to update.

Whilst it’s all too easy to have a dalliance with — or even swap wholesale to — some of those swanky Apple, HTC or Motorola Android devices, there is still a heckuvalot of love in the room for Nokia.

Here’s an example of that kind of love from one reader who replied to the newsletter:

Thank you Ewan,

I am one of those converts to Android from Nokia… and I am longing to go back.

It feels like I’ve left the wife to go off with a blowsy tart, and now I am just realising that she is as thick as two short planks…



Are you feeling dirty grasping your Android device close to your bosom? Are you, too, waiting for a gorgeous Nokia device to shine above the Fisher Price style Android devices out there? Or have you moved on?

Note: For the North Americans reading, who might not be familiar with the vernacular definition of ‘tart’, here we go: A tart is, ‘A woman considered to be sexually promiscuous’. Or as Terry Pratchett would say, ‘A woman of negotiable affection.’

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7 Responses to Android: “A tart and thick as two short planks”

  1. Martin Bryant February 22, 2010 at 11:52 pm #

    If Nokia had the easy integration with my social world that Android does I'd consider it but for now I'll wait for Nokia to catch up. That said, maybe I'm just too invested in Google services to ever go back.

  2. Ewan February 23, 2010 at 12:51 am #

    Must it be a Google device to consume Google Services, Martin? Most of my BlackBerry usage is based on Google services including sync (contacts, calendar), gmail app, gmail plugin, Google Maps and Latitude

  3. Jonathan February 23, 2010 at 1:01 am #

    Nokia needs to actually deliver a well thought through and highly integrated (services) product. Talk is easy. Let's see the goods.

  4. Martin Bryant February 23, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    Oh no, of course you can use Google services on other phones but Android
    has them so tightly integrated at a core level that there's no effort in
    setting anything up. Pop your username and password in when you buy the
    phone and you're set forever.

  5. Ewan February 23, 2010 at 9:53 am #

    Yeah I do like that, Martin

  6. MarkW February 23, 2010 at 10:47 am #

    I'd say I fit your definition right on the nose, Ewan. The N97 depressed me so much, I skipped it went to a HTC Hero, which I do like a lot, but which does feel lightweight somehow.

    Somewhat embarrassingly for me, I'd been evangelising the N97 prior to its release because I'm one of those geeks people look to for advice on this kind of thing. I had to back down rapidly on the N97. I thought the N900 would be *it*, except then I discovered that it didn't play nicely with my Google Apps setup, so I've given that a miss too. I'm fed up to the back teeth with flaky, clunky, incomprehensible Nokia services. So, so disappointing.

    I still hold out hope for Nokia and would love to see a great phone with a great camera finally delivered, but they'll lose me forever if they let us down again this year…

  7. phil_trick February 23, 2010 at 2:56 pm #

    I went from a Nokia E71 -> iPhone 3GS -> Nokia N900.

    I must say the N900 is the best of the bunch.

    For social networking integration, it is the best of the bunch, you can see if a contact is online when you look them up in the address book, and if they have skype or jabber IM, you can call them over that or just chat.

    There is something about Nokia, while the Symbian based phones always seemed a bit clunky, they worked, and the later ones with the SIP stack integrated saved me alot of cash!

    If the N900 is a taster of what is to come from Nokia, then Android might have a battle on its hands.

    Now all Nokia have to do is get better U.S market penetration.

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