37 predictions for Nokia’s Capital Markets Day

In advance of Nokia’s (NOK) strategy announcements this Friday, I thought it was time to put together a list of semi-outlandish unrealistic-but-eyebrow-popping strategic decisions Nokia could make. Some are a little bit far fetched. Others are rather plausible.

Suggestions from my Twitter followers are marked with the author’s Twitter account.

1. Nokia together with Nokia Siemens Networks will launch it’s own global mobile operator business
2. Tim Cook from Apple will take to the stage to announce partnership with Nokia to produce the all new iPhone Nano
3. Every new Nokia phone will come with an Amazon Kindle account
4. Nokia and Ford/Hyundai enter into agreement to use MeeGo-Qt on all autos 2012 forward [ARJWright]
5. Nokia’s quitting mobile and opening theme parks in Korea – you heard it here first! [PatrickJPR]
6. Nokia will be announcing the results from a secret R&D team that has developed the next communications device – beyond mobile phones! [PatrickJPR]
6.1 …but more likely it will be MeeGo version 3.2.47.1.23
7. Nokia announce what the pundits want? – Nah sorry what was I thinking it’ll never happen. Nokia actually release some software on time? [eddcodd]
8. Nokia buys HP to get hold of webOS after all [
sohear]
9. Nokia has decided to outsource everything to Foxconn and Ogilvy
10. Nokia to build both WP7 and Android handsets. High-end and Mid ranges devices for both and low end devices for Android. [tonyperic]
11. I predict Nokia will admit defeat on Friday and go back to producing rubber footwear [mark3man]
12. Nokia to announce entirely new operating system alongside Symbian & MeeGo [selviano]
13. “We’re going back to tires and boots” [caaarlo]
14. Nokia and HP to announce partnership to provide Palm Pre’s WebOS on new Nokia Smartphone [DavidBod]
15. Nokia announce production of this revolutionary new device (yes, it’s a shaving helmet) [MWilliamsBolton]
16. You thought it was Microsoft? No! Today we’re announcing the YahooPhone [joeyfallon]
17. Nokia is turning the tables by relocating to CA and launching a search engine….hell, mobile’s a mug’s game….[howard_jones]
18. Nokia is buying out the GSMA and will trademark the word ‘mobile’
19. Possible prediction for Nokia’s announcements on Friday? … Nokia cuts dev team to save $$$ & goes Android … :-p [MAQ_Ecosse]
20. Nokia buys HTC 2 get into highend devices and US market, sells meego to Goog (who shut it down), MS ankles phone biz and buy AOL [DigitalMasala]
21. Stop Press Nokia announces S.Jobs onto board, axes dev team & goes iOS 4.3 … :-p [MAQ_Ecosse]
22. Nokia buys Emblaze Mobile and launches the Elise. [jebbrilliant]
23. Nokia to unveil rousing corporate anthem, “We Will Nokia”, sung entirely in Finnish by an elk choir. [dan_bowsher]
24. Nokia sells phone biz to MS to focus on producing NFC enabled key fobs for BMW [DigitalMasala]
25. Nokia announces a female specific version of S3 to cater to a traditionally underserved market. [DominicTravers]
25.1 The S3 ‘Beautiful You’ release will feature 13 different fonts and customisable shades of pink. And Cath Kidston APIs [tweetymike]
26. Nokia will announce android integration into the Symbian operating system [CraigJameson_]
27. Nokia stuns the world!! Announced first Folding Nano-tech device to be released April 1st [Sheridan01]
28. Nokia management unleash hell, sacking almost half the top tier and moving the HQ to the US. Killing symbian at the same time. [millsustwo]
29. Nokia resurrect the 3650 keypad in a move to ‘humanise’ layout. A shift to a large-font DOS-prompt UI will chime with babyboomers. [tweetymike]
30. Nokia announce a landline phone built out of recycled car tires.[GJACG]
31. Nokia will buy Intel and Microsoft using their overdraft facility – will create Wintelkia OS [cressers]
32. I am hoping that they hold another rockin’ party w/ the Leningrad Cowboys a la CeBIT about 10 years ago. #onecanbutdream [Rose_at_O]

(I think you had to have been there, Rose?)

33. I’d so hope for an ‘Oh, and one more thing: here’s our new
[MeeGo/Android/WP7/PR2] phone – and we’re shipping it worldwide next week.’ [janole]
34. What I’m NOT looking fwd to is: ‘Did I say catalyse? Join? Haha, I was just kidding. Our current offering & strategy is just perfect!’ [janole]
35. So long as u have a prediction of 1.21 giga watt, octo-core time travelling functionality running iOS 72.3, i’ll be a happy soul. ;-p [steverowlands]
36. Nokia will announce that all new phones will come with optional ‘go faster stripe’ stickers in the box, in order to help improve the perceptions of its phones [rafeblandford]

And finally, from any anonymous source closely connected to the announcement:

37. As much as I’d like to give you a prediction, I’m afraid I know too much [ultra anonymous]

Awwwh!

Thank you to everyone who took the time to Tweet me a comment. Do place your suggestions in the comments below too.

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  • Jerome

    Nokia announces exclusive partnership with facebook, all nokia devices (S40, symbian, meego…) to embed deep integration to fb including: automatically post your sms and voice calls on your wall, replace “call” button by “like” button, replace “end call” button also by “like” button, auto suggest who you should call next

  • http://www.mobileindustryreview.com Ewan

    Yup, I could see that happening

  • http://sachaqs.mp Sacha QS

    Nokia ends its “three wise monkeys” policy (death, blind, mute) and runs a NokiaCamp two times a year, every year starting summer ’11. Attendees: real life users, bloggers and geeks, Nokia engineers and designers, etc. Goal: take everything you love in every mobile types/brands and beyond, and make it Nokia. Nokia engage itself into a predefined short-term roadmap for five devices entirely conceived with the community every year: one N-series type phone, one E-series, one tablet type device, one mid-range phone and one experimental device (anything from a N900-Meego-like device to augmented reality instant audio translation enabled glasses). Selected community members will be part of the dev/betatest phases. Regular project updates will be issued on blog/twitter/facebook by non-PR teams. This will include roadmap delaying statements. The conception/dev team will not be disrupted by other projects for at least 2 years and will focus on actual product improvements and regular bug fixes/firmware updates. ^^

  • http://www.mobileindustryreview.com Ewan

    Yes please!

  • http://rolandtanglao.com roland

    i have proposed this sort of thing to nokia folks in the past! #greatMindsThinkALike

  • Anonymous

    Nokia will announce a device with 8-core processor, 30MP camera, foldable/transparent/AMOLED/3D glasses-less screen; it will also have thought-control (no need for accelerometer). The uber-phone will charge from your heartbeat and its casing will feature “touch feedback”, you will be able to choose the type of material and it will change its molecular structure. The device will, of course, be able to adopt any shape or colour on standby.

    People will still prefer iPhones though, because the browser actually works.

  • http://www.mobileindustryreview.com Ewan

    Ouch!!

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