I can’t tell you how pissed off I am with the book industry at the moment.

It’s such a shit service, it really is.

The mainstream media does a piss-poor job of getting to me. I can’t believe that publishers put out their books and sit on their hands hoping to get my cash. Stupidly inefficient.

I’m a fan of the Bourne books. The ones by Robert Ludlum — and now the mantle has been assumed by Eric Van Lustbader. The latest, The Bourne Sanction, came out on August 28th.

I had no idea.

And this really, really pisses me right off.

How did I find out? I was walking past the bookstore at Heathrow Airport, poked my nose in and happened to spot it.

Yes, I bought it. So in a way, the publishers can sit pretty. I’m a fan, I bought the book. All is good.

Well, no. I’m totally unsatisfied.

I want to subscribe to an author. I can’t be arsed visiting the piss-poor publishing industry websites. I want to FINISH a book and text ‘BOURNE’ or whatever to an international mobile number.

Then, 2 months before the book is due out, I want the first teaser paragraphs sent to me. Send me a text with a link.

Then 2 weeks before, I want to be reminded.

Then on the day of launch, I want another reminder.

Help me give you money, Mr Publisher.

I logged into Amazon a moment ago and found that Conn Iggulden, an author who I’ve been resolutely following since his wicked Roman books on Ceasar, has got a new one out.

Again. Where was the prompt? Where was the text message from the publisher?

It’s simply not good enough to just assume that the old-ways-are-the-best.

I live on text. Twitter. Jaiku.

I don’t read the Daily Sodding Mail. I don’t watch mainstream bollocks television.

You’re just dead lucky that I made the time to sit down and pop on to Amazon. Or walk by the bookstore.

And that, I think, is a ridiculous business model — to sit and wait — when folk like me will readily buy. If only we knew.

Won’t somebody PLEASE get these publishing companies into the 21st century. Or do I have to do this myself?