Is it time to subscribe to a printer service from HP?

Ever since my dad brought home an...

What’s the best way of buying a phone today?

How did you buy your latest phone?...

MWC: What device highlights did you miss?

So, early last week I predicted that...

They just don’t get it. THEY. JUST. DON’T. GET. IT.

Ok it’s official, I’m fed up with the Canadian Mobile Industry.

I was pretty darn close before, as many of you know. I was borderline ready to give up completely. But there were always those ever so slight glimmers of hope that brought me back from the edge.

But now I’m done. I. AM. DONE.

Tonight I was looking through the flyers in the local paper and pulled out the Best Buy one. Flipping through the pages I came across the typical array of, as Ewan likes to call them, Cracker Handsets and was ready to do my typical mocking when all of a sudden, there it was, glowing off the page with an aura, the Nokia N95 8GB.

“LOOK!” I scream at husband, “LOOK! They have it! There it is! They are finally selling the N95! We are SAVED!”

I scan the ad for the fine print. “$249.99, after $150 rebate upon new activation of a 36-month Rogers Vision Plan”

Hmmm, wtf is a Roger’s Vision Plan?

I hunt through the flyer, no explanation of course. So I pick up my trusty laptop and head over to the Roger’s website for clarification. Well it’s not easily found there either. You’d think they’d have blinking lights and a person yelling out the speakers at you “LOOK AT US! WE’VE COME TO OUR SENSES! WE HAVE A REAL PHONE! YOU HAVE TO LOVE US NOW! AND NOT JUST CAUSE I’M TED ROGERS AND I OWN EVERYTHING!” (you Canadians may understand that 😉 but no, I can’t find it on the website, not even doing a search through the site.

I’m starting to get annoyed.

So I Google it and come across a page for an authorized Rogers agent, Complete Communication.

At least they tell me what a Roger’s Vision plan is.

Rogers Vision

Limited Time Offer*

Activate or renew Any Voice Plan on a 3 year term together with a $7 Rogers Vision Unlimited On-Device Mobile Browsing Plan (or a $15 or $20 Value Pack) on a 3 year term and get –

$100 Vision Device Discount
12 Months FREE Unlimited local Video Calling²
3 months of FREE unlimited access to live concert clips, music videos and more with Video On Demand
3 months of FREE unlimited access to pre-released albums from MTV the Leak, 25 XM Satellite Radio channels and more with Radio On Demand
3 months FREE text, picture and video messaging
100 FREE Songs from Rogers MusicStore

* Conditions apply.
² In Month 13 get 50 minutes of free video calling for the remainder of your term.

And there goes all my hope.

It’s not magical unlimited Data, it’s not what I’ve been waiting for. It’s just frigging unlimited browsing again.

WOULD YOU PEOPLE WAKE UP ALREADY.

Ooooh I get 12 months of local video calling. Only helpful if the other person has a phone capable of receiving it, not many in this country.

3 months of free text. Whoopdedoo.

3 months of albums from things I’ve never heard of. Great.

BIG FLIPPING DEAL.

You have finally given people one of the best phones on the planet, and you’re making them use it to telephone people.

Really, why don’t you just forget it all and start selling the Nokia 5190 again. That should do just about everything you’re offering anyway. Oooh or call up Zack Morris, I bet he’s not using his phone at the moment.

zackphone

I want to be able to use my N95 to it’s full potential. I want to be able to take a video and stream it using Qik. I want to upload my photos with Shozu. I want to use services such as Palringo.

But unless I’m sitting at home on my Wifi Connection, no dice!

Well that’s not true, I could take a video and upload it using Qik, but in order to do that I am officially starting the “Let’s pay for Krystal to upload one video using her Fido connection” fund. I accept cash, cheque and all major credit cards, because honestly, I can’t afford to do it without you guys pitching in. I don’t have a spare $200 for my 2 min video.

I’m not asking for world peace or lower gas prices. (Although both would be nice) I’m just simply asking for a reasonably priced unlimited data plan.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME ALREADY?

8 COMMENTS

  1. I was under the impression all those apps were doable on Rogers Vision plan. It's simply a matter of access point. I, of course, could be wrong.

    Even here in the states, so-called “Unlimited” data really caps out at 5GB, after which they reserve the right to take your first and second born.

  2. Three years? A THREE YEAR mobile contact? This is monumentally unfair as your handset is likely to last 12-18 months (excluding any major exceptions — like dropping it, losing it, etc.)

    We need to speak to Rogers, Krystal — and find out how they expect people to use an N95 8GB without brilliant data access. Phoneboy might be right though — perhaps QIK, etc., is 'doable' … and they're just using 'browsing' to mean all kinds of data?

    Excellent rant 🙂

  3. PS. Ewan I think you should have a Canadian section in your categories as you bash them so often here that it would be good for those of us with a particular interest to be able to read the stories written.

    I know I would grab the category RSS feed if it existed.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Recently Published

Is it time to subscribe to a printer service from HP?

Ever since my dad brought home an HP LaserJet printer (version 3, if memory serves), I have been printing with an HP. Over the...

What’s the best way of buying a phone today?

How did you buy your latest phone? I'm asking because I'm thinking about what I should be doing. When I was living in Oman, I...

MWC: What device highlights did you miss?

So, early last week I predicted that next to nothing from Mobile World Congress would break through into the mainstream media. I was right,...

How Wireless Will Pave the Path to Neobank Profitability

I'm delighted to bring you an opinion piece from Rafa Plantier at Gigs.com. I think it's particularly relevant given the recent eSIM news from...

An end of an era: Vodafone UK turns off 3G services

I thought it was worthwhile highlighting this one from the Vodafone UK team. For so long - for what feels like years, seeing the...

Mobile World Congress: Did the mainstream media notice?

I resolved this year to make sure I wrote something - anything - about Mobile World Congress, the huge mobile industry trade show taking...