T-Mobile can stuff their hotspots and their hyphens up their jumper

Now and again, the T-Mobile hotspot service in Starbucks have saved my bacon. I can remember dashing down various suburban high streets in search of a Starbucks to get internet access to change or update something for a screaming client.

I decided to take a break today and go and work from a Starbucks. You know, see a bit of life, get some fresh air, enjoy sharing space with one’s fellow Earthlings.

I was brimming with confidence. OVER confidence, some might say. I picked a Starbucks on Oxford Street, safe in the knowledge that I had a US T-Mobile WiFi account and I’d be able to get immediate access. I went straight to the till and got a fresh (bottled) orange juice and went to find a comfortable chair.

The first problem is that T-Mobile’s US gateway isn’t working. I selected ‘T-Mobile US’ on the wifi welcome page and typed in my username and password.


Well, it spouted me an error. If I was in Glasgow, the page would have yelled ‘IT DOESNEY WORK’ at me rather strongly.

I tried again. Nope.

I made the international sign of ‘what a total arse’ and screamed a four letter expletive to myself. Short. Not a long yell, just a short expression of frustration.

Here I am, arsing about, relying on this international billion dollar company and they’re far too busy, clearly, sticking fingers in orifices and playing with themselves, to be bothered monitoring their systems to check they are WORKING.

I keep doing this. I keep making the mistake of RELYING on these type of companies. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I should have walked into the Starbucks thinking ‘Ah, yes, T-Mobile… heh… might work, let’s see, otherwise, you know, I’ll just have an Orange juice and stare at the wall.’

To add further insult, I was informed that, IF my US WiFi account was working (if their database connection was working, or whatever), that I’d be charged a ‘roaming fee’ of $0.18 per minute.


I have no doubt that this is most certainly detailed in their ‘click here to read the terms and conditions’ that I most certainly didn’t bother reading. So fair play.

But not. Not fair play. I’ll pay it. I’d have paid it, if my account had worked, but it’s just not cricket.

You’re either an international company — T-Mobile UK looks VERY similar to T-Mobile USA — or you’re not. To be STUPID enough to charge your customers for ‘roaming’ on a WiFi connection when it belongs to the same PARENT company?

Well, I’ll tell you what. Screw you, with your fancy hyphen.

I’ll cancel my US hotspot account shortly.

The second problem is that, setting aside enjoying sharing space with one’s fellow Earthlings, you’re often exposed to total arses doing ‘meetings’ and ‘thought considerations’ (‘it’s the new phrase for ‘brainstorming’ you see, politically correct’) the chap tells his colleagues as they sit down with their mochas and lattes.

The third problem: People with annoying mobile phones with ringtones set not at ‘LOUD’ but at ‘BLAST’.

So, excellent morning.

The sun is still shining. Very strange to find that in London.

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