I’ve taken some video footage of my piece-of-shit Motorola Q9 trying to make a call.
My mistake was to answer the phone, you see.
A chap called me with a story and all was good. I hung up and tried to make a call.
Mistake. Stupid, stupid mistake. What the hell was I thinking, trying to make a call? How presumptious of me. I simply assumed that, since the device’s primary function is to transmit and receive calls, that — well — this is what it’d do. And without consequence.
Because, you see, when the Motorola Q9 has a funny turn, like it must have done a few minutes before I received that call, it’s game over. GAME over. The operating system has had enough. It is in the proverbial and endless Starbucks queue, waiting for it’s double mocha latte, whilst the hardware is doing it’s best to run the show. Badly.
So when I try and make a call, I’m told there’s no signal.
No signal. NO sir. Forget the fact you can see all five bars top right on the screen. There’s no signal. Error.
Try and call someone else. No. Enter a number manually. No. Scroll from the address book and hit call. No.
Switch it off and let the device run through it’s flocking annoying startup rigmarole (you can, almost feel it creaking through it’s startup sequence like one of the very best IBM 386SX’s) and it’ll work.
Class-A FLOCKING useless.
I don’t know what planet Motorola were on when they vomitted out the Motorola Q9. I don’t give a flying toss whether it’s the Microsoft Windows Rubbish Mobile or the hardware. It’s Motorola’s responsibility and no wonder they’ve screwed their once formidable industry position.
You’ll be delighted to know I can still access Facebook, or Google or the like, when the device goes on its holidays. I just can’t actually phone anyone without switching it off and on again.
The next time you are in the market to buy a handset, think carefully, very, very carefully about investing in one of Motorola’s finest.
If all else fails and you absolutely have to use a Motorola (this is, after all, the folk who sent spacemen to the moon …?) get yourself a RAZR. That, at least, works.
If you’ve got a Motorola Q9, then you’re a cock for choosing it, you’re a cock for giving them money for the rubbish device, you’re a cock for reading this and STILL owning it. You’re a cock. You’re a HUGE cock. Just like me.
For the avoidance of doubt, this is a huge cock: