Vicky Pollard has an iPhone 4; You are not cool any more

You know Vicky Pollard, right?  Fictional ‘stereotypical’ chav?  Sponging off the state?  12 children by 12 men? Dresses in a pink Kappa tracksuit and leggings? Introduced to us by the Little Britain team?

Well I saw an almost identical match for Vicky Pollard this morning on the train from Windsor & Eton Riverside Station.  She arrived into the carriage shouting daaahnn thaaa fohhhn (‘down the phone’), chewing a huge gob of gum and carrying what looked like her college work in a Tesco bag.  She was also swigging regularly from a bottle of Lucozade.  She looked about 17-18ish, but it’s difficult to give an accurate estimate — as she was also sporting a Croydon Facelift.

I attempted to document the experience — I really wanted photographic (or ideally video) evidence — but alas, I wasn’t able to do so.

I took a picture of my hand in the general direction of ‘the Vicky’ to test the camera and to see if she’d notice.  She did.  Her head shot round at the ‘kaaaarrr-cheeesh’ camera sound from my BlackBerry Bold.  When she realised I was taking a picture of myself, she relaxed and ignored me.  But I didn’t risk aiming the phone directly at her to snap a pic for your viewing pleasure.

For that, I apologise, dear reader.

However, why is this experience notable beyond the contrast to the standard commuter I expected to find on the Windsor line?

Well, Vicky Pollard had an iPhone.

An iPhone 4, no less.

I spotted it immediately.

In my tweet this morning (during the experience) I demanded to know where the Apple Brand Police were.  Vicky was most definitely NOT on brand.

Funny isn’t it?  Apple go to great lengths to ensure their products are displayed and marketed just so.  Then Vicky here walks on to the train and causes me to curse my two iPhone 4s.  (I’m currently carrying an iPhone 4 on Orange and an iPhone 4 on Three).  After this experience, both of them feel a little dirtier and a little less cooler than they did when I got up this morning.

Not good.

You can’t call it a premium device when a college student (I’m being polite and hoping for the best) is waltzing around with one, can you?  They’re just so much more accessible now.  They have to be.  Everyone in the UK who wanted an iPhone at the 35 pound price point (inclusive of ‘Apple tax’) has already got one, especially since all the networks in the UK opened up to support the device.

Now the operators are having to spread the iPhone love.  You can now pick up a 16Gb iPhone 4 from operator Three at the cost of £99 up front and £30/month on a 24-month contract.  That’ll get you:

  • 500 any network minutes
  • 5000 texts
  • 5000 Three-to-Three minutes
  • 1GB Internet

£99 isn’t beyond the realms of your average mobile consumer, especially when it’s a ‘premium’ Apple product they’re being asked to pay for.  Just how many new consumers are coming to iPhone 4?

Given that Apple will shortly be able to knock out 200,000 iPhones a day, I wonder just how many iPhones the UK marketplace can handle?  The Vicky Pollard today appeared delighted with hers.  She yapped away on it a little while then spent the rest of the journey tap-tap-tapping away at what looked like a few different apps.

It would be really interesting to see if Vicky had bought any applications, or if she was just using free ones.  Irrespective, it’s good for the iPhone ecosystem.  I’m not too sure about the general brand perception though.  Is it still cool to own an original iPhone?  Or an iPhone 4?


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