Is Starlink on UK trains just too much to ask for?

So, the other week I flew to Doha with Qatar Airlines. It was a revelation to me because for the whole 7-or-so hours from London, I was able to get an absolute metric ton of work done thanks to the complimentary onboard Starlink WiFi. (See my post on the experience here.)

Although others were having a great time streaming TikTok, YouTube, Netflix and so on, I was able to get a lot of actual work done – including uploading and downloading sizable files effortlessly. I even joined (in listening only mode!) several Teams calls.

It was fantastic.

This experience got me thinking though.

You see, when I'm in the UK, I'm typically required in London for client meetings – and the most effective way of getting to the city is via train. Whilst the transport itself is ok, the major issue is trying to get anything done as a result of the absolutely dire connectivity. Most trains have WiFi – but it's powered by cellular connectivity, which is also dire. It's up and down like a yo-yo.

In fairness, it's mostly down or incredibly limited.

Whilst there are all sorts of NIMBY ("not in my back yard") reasons why the UK's cellular network (especially along railway lines) is utterly useless, you do have to wonder why it's remained this bad for so long.

Yes, the WiFi feels a bit more resilient than the normal up-and-down cellular connectivity on my phone, but it's still poor. There are portions where it's actually ok and portions where it's just down.

Trying to get anything meaningful done, when you're on the train – especially when it comes to work that requires connectivity – is next to pointless.

Now, if Elon Musk's Starlink can deliver something like 250-500 meg speeds on a jet doing almost 600mph at 38,000ft, why can't my train, doing 55mph on the ground, do the same?