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OhMiBod: The iPhone sex-toy add-on coming soon

I don’t want anyone vomitting over their cornflakes whilst perusing SMS Text News (not, unless it’s at yet another mobile operator catastrophe) so if you’re of a nervous disposition or are incompatible with the words sex, toy and vibrator, swiftly move along.

These definitely aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

OhMiBodIt’s not often that a semi-cynical seen-it-all (most of the time) blogger such as myself finds himself staring at the screen and bursting out laughing. Not in ridicule, I must point out, but at the sheer inventiveness.

Wou can now buy a vibrator add-on for your iPhone (or iPod). I found this via the MiPhone site. Intrigued I headed over to the OhMiBod product page.

The audio enabled integrated microchip allows the OhMiBod to vibrate to the beat and rhythm of your music while you listen.

‘Why is the music component so important?’, the product literature asks.

Listening to your favorite sexy music and actually feeling the corresponding vibes quickly transports you to a place where music, mind and body truly “come” together.

Ahhh! I am now enlightened.

Folk are raving about it on the feedback bit of the page. WItness:

I received my “OhMiBod” as a shower gift. Love it!!! I am ordering one for everyone I know this Holiday season. What a fabulous idea!!! FYI to your other users: My fiancé downloaded him talking to me onto my iPod and it works even to the sound of his voice!!!!! Makes my traveling a lot less painful!!

Oooooooooooooh my.

It’s an interactive, inclusive toy though:

My partner and I bought a splitter so we could enjoy your product during foreplay. We can’t listen to the radio any more without imagining which songs would work best…

A splitter? Well I never.

I definitely can’t wait to get an iPhone.

HEH.

You have to ask yourself, why doesn’t Sony Ericsson or Nokia do an OhMiBod add-on, eh? 😉

You see it’s about vision. It’s about foresight. Heh.

This isn’t just an opportunity for me to post a picture of a vibrator on an otherwise rather mobile-phone-limited site. No, sir. It’s actually a commentary on the mobile phone industry.

Have a read of this text:

Optimized for iPod® products and other MP3 players. Also works with laptops, home stereos, portable CD players, microphones, electric guitars – virtually any electronic audio output source with a 3.5mm jack.

It’s rather telling, isn’t it, that the makers of OhMiBod didn’t bother making it compatible for the trillions of Nokias, Sony Ericssons, Samsungs (or, oooh, LG Shines)?

I’m reasonably sure that the Nokia CEO stood on stage at Nokia World and told us all that they are now the world’s largest manufacturer of music players. Something like that. If that’s the case, if that’s TRULY the case, then why … well, actually, it’s not truly the case. Whatever the figures, say, I’m willing to bed that at least, what, 70% of Nokia users WITH an mp3 player compatible handset play music on it less than once a month. Or don’t use it at all.

If you’re pitching music as a critical purchasing decision for your handsets, as most manufacturers are beginning to do so, then make sure the handset sports a 3.5mm jack.

I’m sure the OhMiBod folk would love to advertise that their product works with ‘every Nokia’. You could have a lot of fun dreaming up marketing slogans then, couldn’t you…